Seriously funny shit...

Why on God's green earth am I about to write a blog post on poop?

I'll tell you...my life has revolved around it the last three days. No, seriously, it's been all about poop. Good times.

For some inexplicable reason my darling daughter as decided that this bodily function she no longer wants to do...and in doing so, my miserable two year old is making the rest of us miserable. Misery loves company, right?

During one of our many trips to the bathroom in the last few days I have had time to reflect quite a lot on...poop. (Sorry, folks. This blog post won't be tugging at the strings of your moral compass...)

Think of it...we use the word "shit" for so many different reasons: "Oh shit," "You're in deep shit," "I know you like to think your shit don't stink," "He's the shit" ...I will never understand that last one.

And what in the world makes poop so funny?

I was driving Blake home from school last fall when she made her first "poop joke."

"Guess what Mommy," she said sweetly.

"What, baby?" I reply.

"POOP!" she shouts, at the top of her lungs.

(No, I don't think she has a future as a comedienne.) I also should add that was the last poop joke she made.

But, turn on the tv, and there they are - poop jokes, bathroom comedy, whatever you call it...there they are.

I told Blake after her little joke that we NEVER talk about poop, unless we are saying we need to go to the bathroom. I'm about to break my own rule by telling a true story...yes, a poop story.

First, I have to give my cousin credit...he happens to have more poop stories than any person that has ever lived. Thankfully, this story did not happen to him...he just bore witness to it.

Summer time. If you grew up in a church youth group, you know what this means. Countless nights away at various camps, mission trips, and lock-ins. This particular summer the youth group at Grace Baptist Church (not really the name, but it serves the purpose of my story) was travelling to Jamaica. They were split into teams to serve in different areas: sport's camp, drama ministry, and children's church.

On this day their bus was travelling over the rugged dirt roads to a small school where the drama team would be performing their last show of the day. They were starving. Having gotten lost driving between shows earlier that day they hadn't stopped for lunch. Now it was late afternoon and at this rate their stomachs would be louder than their voices. Heaven smiled at them, however, because at the same moment that their grumbling was becoming unbearable to the chaperones, they saw a jerk chicken stand on the side of the road. This place was a dive in the worst sense of the word, but the famished teens couldn't care less. They downed plates full of jerk chicken and rice and within minutes were back on the bus hurtling towards their destination.

With their stomachs full they arrived in the small town and set up for their performance of the Passion play. Around the same time that their audience was getting seated the actors were finding that something wasn't quite right. (You know where I'm going with this.) Unfortunately, no one was experiencing an upset stomach more than their Jesus....oh, it get worse. There were no restrooms at the school...only a small outhouse out back.

Before any of the actors could protest (or use the bathroom) the chaperones were on stage starting the show. Nothing could done. The show must go on.

Luckily, they made it through the show without any incidents...or accidents, I should say. But before the actors could take their final bow, Jesus leaps off the cross, bolts across the stage, and sprints to the outhouse. He wrenches open the door, pulls up his robe, and lets it all go...right onto a little girl. No joke.

This poor child did not have the Jesus experience she had been hoping for. Instead she got pooped on.

Now, unlike what I've been experiencing the last few days, that's some seriously funny shit.