What's your passion?

Some passions are innate to us.

I have had a passion for theater for as long as I can remember. I love the art of performing. But I also love educating through theater. I feel confident in my ability to use theater as a tool to both educate and engage students while enriching their lives.  I believe in theater – its’ ability to transform a community, its’ power to enlighten and redefine. I believe my passion for the art form is apparent in my work. I strive in my teaching to foster an appreciation, understanding, and dialogue for the art. The use of applied theater for social change excites me. Yes, theater is a passion of mine.

But, some passions are birthed through experience. I use the word "birthed" quite intentionally because in the last three years childbirth has transformed my life.

Birth is a journey. It is a life changing, transformative experience no matter what "route" one takes. I know this to be true because my birth experiences could not be more different from each other. Each changed my life completely in their own way.

Before Blake was born I had strong opinions about how I wanted my birth to go. I researched and then researched some more. I read books by Ina May and Dr. Sears on natural childbirth. I watched birth videos, hired a doula, watched "The Business of Being Born" (which I highly recommend for anyone who hasn't seen it! It's amazing!), and planned meticulously for the labor I desired. Below is a section from my birth plan with Blake to illustrate the birth we had planned for:

Thank you very much for all you’ve done for us so far and for what you will do in the immediate future!  We are excited for today and very much looking forward to this experience.  We are confident in and grateful for your expert care as we all usher this child into the world.

Because this is such an important event to us, we have put some thought into our goals and priorities, which you will find below.

Goals:  To have a healthy child and a safe delivery for Chelsea, free from all medications unless medically necessary, and with no restricted movements for Chelsea.

To that end, we would like to avoid:

·         All medications, unless the health of the baby or Chelsea necessitates it

·         Artificial induction or augmentation of labor (amniotomy, petocin, etc.)

·         Episiotomy, unless to manage a specific risk

·         Routine IV

·         Continuous fetal heart monitoring

·         Routine exams, unless necessary

·         Forceps, vacuums, etc.

After the baby is born, we would like to be able to establish an immediate bond with it.  We would request that:

·         We breastfeed immediately after birth

·         Bryan cut the cord after the placenta is delivered and the cord stops pulsing

·         Bathing, measurements, testing occurs in the labor and delivery room after the first breastfeeding

·         To be able to room-in, e.g. the baby doesn’t go to the nursery unless necessary

We understand that the above is an ideal scenario and there may be complications that necessitate medical intervention.  We are confident that you will be working in our best interests and we will of course trust your judgment if anything unexpected arises.

This was the birth experience we desired...what we ended up with was ENTIRELY the opposite. After arriving at the hospital I immediately knew that this was NOT the place I wanted to be for the birth that I, personally, desired. I was so confident that I could achieve a natural birth, free from any interventions, in any setting...my naivety did not serve me well. I could write a novel on what happened in the 28 hours that followed (maybe one day I will) but as the doctor came into my room, for yet the 4th time, to tell me they would not allowed me to labor any longer I felt my spirit crush. I felt defeated. And when they wheeled me into the O.R., what had started months before as a "strong opinion" about how I wanted my birth to go, ignited into a passion. My next birth would be different.

And was it ever!! I chose a midwife for my birth with Beckett, one that, in my research, was well known for her success with VBAC patients. I, once again, hired a doula. I found the only hospital in DFW with birthing tubs in the rooms for patients of the midwife practice. Harris Methodist renewed my faith in hospitals. My experience with Beckett healed the scars caused from the snide remarks, eye rolls, and general disrespect for my journey. I love the nurses at Harris more than I can say. When I went to tour prior to the birth they were so accommodating and answered each of the thousand and one questions (poor thing probably felt like she was getting grilled...which she was.)

When Bryan and I arrived at Harris, on the eve of Beckett's birth, after laboring for 10 hours at home I could not have felt more relieved that this was the place we had chosen for our son to be born.

The nurse first said, "Oh, I see you are with the midwives group. Would you like a suite with a birthing tub?"

Me, "pant, pant, Yes, please. pant, pant."

After arriving in the room the nurse continued to offer choices that I had not been offered in my previous experience: Would I like to labor in my own clothes? Would I like to be checked then or later by my midwife? Would I like an IV?

She left the room saying, "Well, let us know if you need anything! We're just gonna let you have this baby."

Hallelujah!

My 29.5 hour labor with Beckett could also be written into a novel...though I doubt many would care to read about the nitty gritty details. I'll sum it up in one word: PROFOUND.

All births are transformative. Without Blake's birth experience I would not have experienced the defeat (please know that I use the word "defeat" losely, as it was my plan that was defeated. God had bigger plans for me that day. I truly feel that he knew I needed a reminder that I am not the one in control. I ended that experience with a sweet healthy baby in my arms, and for that I was so blessed!) that ignited the passion I have today. Beckett's birth was the most tangible experience I have ever had with God. I have never relied on Him so fully, or felt His all-consuming, and over-whelming presence as I did that day! GOD is good and He took me on the journey I had prayed so fervently to experience.

My mind has been set upon birth lately. Two friends have recently experienced wonderful VBAC's. Another just gave birth in the comfort of her home (awesomeness!) My sister-in-law is a couple of weeks from having her first baby. That being said I have pulled out my prayer journal from Beckett's birth and reread it probably a dozen times in the last month. A dear friend shared her prayer journal with me and it was more of a blessing than she could ever know! I feel blessed that we, as women, can journey through childbirth together, supporting one another, lifting each other up, directing each other to lean on God through this pivotal moment in our lives. It is no wonder I am passionate about such an amazing thing!

Now I just have to figure out how I can keep myself from craving birth....at least for a little while!

I guess I'll let Bryan figure that one out! ;)